Friday, 22 July 2011

-Spencer- Team, I love weddings

Because everyone likes suddenly getting thrust into doing a job when you're supposed to be having fun-

Wait, am I getting this wrong?

August and I sobered up and were up and ready for the ceremony. It was gorgeous; even I could see that and I'm an uncultured schmuck.
But I'm also not an idiot. When the busboy with the ridiculously fake German accent turned up, I can't say I was very surprised to see it wasn't simply an exchange student trying to earn some cash.

(Well, you idiot, what did you expect? You barely ever stop moving and you decide to go to a wedding? Stupid!)

So August and I slip in our earpieces and get on it. Doors were locked, I pinned the suspicious character, and I figured everything would go alright from there.

I don't need to summarize what's already there. Read what they said. Go on, I'll wait. Point being, I stabbed a Proxy's eyes out with a FORK and laughed while I was doing so.
... According to August, at least. I'm not sure if he's trying to get back at me for last night or not, but I can't remember doing that.

Well fuck.

Naturally, though, we didn't have time to worry about looking fancy once we got rid of 'em. There was work to be done.

Because, children, what you don't realize is that it's REALLY FUCKING HARD to keep all your conquests under wraps and away from media attention. Keeping all you Runners out of jail isn't easy, but it's something I do.

So I have about half an hour to draw attention away from the hotel massacre.

This is pretty bad. It's even worse when the fucker won't connect me to the chief. It takes three minutes to get to the right person, but boy, is it worth is.

You should've heard him gasp when he heard my voice. It's nice to have power around here. And then August suggested that a small scale explosion would probably work as a distraction.

Dear god, remind me to give that kid a hefty bonus.

Sure, he's tiny and frail, but watching a guy in a dress assemble a miniature pipebomb is something you REALLY need to see to believe.

There was SLIGHT property damage; a vacant tiny house had it's foundation cracked but the one next to it had nothing but a good jolt. Otherwise, the explosion was magnified using tricks to make it sound worse than it actually was. Dry ice makes great fake smoke, and enough well placed megaphones can make a mouse deafening.
Of course, it was a hit. The media jumped on it faster than a starving panther. Mission accomplished.

I dropped off a package, too. So it worked out in the end.

August... Team, I only ask this; MAKE SURE HE RESTS. I need to go back into The Wing to sort shit out. But he's got a cracked rib that he's been walking on.
(using The Path really didn't help things, but hey)

But otherwise?

It was fun.

(Outside from the team, I really didn't have friends. Is it right to say that I feel that I do now?)


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  2. I'm glad. Oh, and if you ever need something involving police in New York, well, you know who to call.

  3. Just popped in to see what everyone was saying.
    Thank you so much, Spencer. For everything. And yes. You can count all three of us as your friends.


  4. Hey, next time, can I handle the bomb and not the body? He was a bit of a weighty fellow, not to speak ill of the dead.

  5. Sure, if you want to get blown up. August may have a pretty face but I have no idea how he's so good at this. Bomb disposal unit said they've never seen anything like 'im.

    Newbies stay on corpse duty. Ask Sam about that one.

  6. Goddamn it, Spencer, I do not want to join your SlenderScoobyGang. Stop asking.

  7. ...Would it be bad to say I've never been happier about missing a wedding?

    Anyway, glad you're both alive. I'll cook tomorrow so August can rest.

    (Also, fuck corpse duty. Like I need any more nightmares.)

  8. Honestly boss, you did. Ask Elaine; she saw.

    I'll take my bonus in hours of lost sleep, thanks. And lost dignity. I'm never living that bachelor party down, am I?

    Cam, the party was gorgeous and the ceremony was beautiful. You had me in tears. (Not that that's hard.) It's just a shame that... well. We all know what happened.

    But, if you'll excuse me, I need to go collapse for a few long hours. Thanks for cooking, Sam; that cracked rib is acting up and I haven't had proper sleep in well over two weeks.

    (And as for the bombs, I'll just say this: my pa taught me real good.)

  9. Thanks for that guys. Like so much. I don't need the cops following me. There's enough strange deaths following me.

    You guys keep safe mkay? Maybe we'll hang out sometime again? It was great meeting you.

  10. Thanks, August. I was glad to have you there. And I wouldn't worry about the party. You had fun, that's what counts.


  11. God damn it Spencer. I had to go poking around this thing again because of what you said earlier. At least I know I was right on the 'drunk' part of 'drunk prophet'

  12. Yeah, I think I got that down. But at least it's active on here.
    You can look all you want. But here's the thing; Ray, what exactly are you looking for?

  13. If I knew I wouldn't have to look.

  14. The solution to crime, it appears, is more crime.

  15. Of course. Always MOAR crime.
    Y'see, here's where you went wrong. I never said what we did was 100% legal. But it's a service, and we arguably help more people than we hurt.

    An arms dealer has his property raided and bugged by FBI agents. Not only is this done under the table under the veil of vandalism, but the guards he had hired are drugged in order to enter the abode. They are fired as a result. Two innocent people who didn't do anything wrong. Probably didn't know they were working for a bad guy. Thousands of lives are saved from the resulting information. Is it worth it?

    Likewise; sure, I could leave you all to rot in prison. But one appearance by Tall, Dark, and Handsome on the telly and we've got potentially millions of infections on our hands.

    ... See what I mean?