-Sam- Checking In

See, I found this passageway into Narnia, and I became the queen and stayed there for thirty years killing witches and having tea with goats and all that stuff, and I just came back and it’s only been a month in this world…

…yeah I wish.

I’ve pretty much been on…vacation, let’s call it...for the past few weeks. Actually, I moved down into one of the parts of the House that nobody’s been in for years. Partly out of curiosity, partly out of everyone in this place is going crazy and I need to get out of here.

The House is huge. It’s ridiculous. I don’t think anyone could find me back here even if they wanted to. There’s all this weird stuff here, too. I found a whole bedroom full of creepy old dolls. I mean, who the hell lived here and collected dolls? Who even had this house before the couriers did? I’m putting these on my “ask August” list. Which I’m totally making right now.

Oh. The reason I’m posting. I haven’t been keeping up with the blog – I didn’t even know Elaine was here until August sent me 3,794 texts basically saying “IT’S ELAINE’S BIRTHDAY, GET YOUR BUTT BACK TO CIVILIZATION AND EAT WITH US.” That was a couple weeks ago, obviously. And I went. Elaine seems like a nice lady even if she’s a little weird. But anyway.

Last night I heard somebody in this part of the house. Didn’t recognize the voice, couldn’t make out any of the words. So I barricaded the door and looked on the blog and oh hello there is an insane murderer who is sharing our house with us.

I don’t know if it was Morningstar I heard or not. At least…God, I hope it was him. Either way I have to get out of here. I’m packing up and making a run for the main part of the house as soon as I post this. Just keep your fingers crossed I’m not brutally murdered on the way.

See you soon,

-Sam ♪

P.S. One of the dolls looked lonely, so I kept her. I hope that’s okay.

P.P.S. Her name is Matilda.

-Sam- I'm okay now

So this morning I woke up tied to a chair, with the worst headache ever and only the foggiest memories of what happened the night before, and I kind of assumed the worst. Then I saw August puking into the sink and Todd sitting on the floor looking confused, and I remembered.

Then I threw up. All over my shirt.

I'm really sorry about what happened last night. I wasn't myself. It's really, really hard to think rationally when your entire (long-dead) family is whispering in your ears that you can't fuck up again and let anybody else die, like you let them die.

They did it all night. That's why I was fighting you so hard, August. I don't know what I said to you, but I didn't mean it, I swear. I'm so sorry.

Anyway, whatever that drug August gave me was, it didn't like me much. I had to throw up a couple more times after breakfast, then I went and took a nap. And what do you know. Fifteen minutes later, I woke up from a nightmare. Leaning against the wall. Next to the entrance to the East Wing.

I dragged myself back to my room, and it happened again. Fall asleep, nightmare, wake up, East Wing. I did it three times before I finally just gave in and curled up on the floor right where I woke up.

And for the first time since I was about nine, I slept without a single nightmare. I just woke up. I'm sitting across the hallway from the East Wing entrance on the second floor right now as I'm writing this.

Don't worry, I won't go in.

Grandma says it's not time yet.

-Sam

-August- Sam, I Really Wish You Would Stop That.

And Steele, I'm not even going to validate those posts with proper comments. All I'm going to say is... Christ. Doc, Amanda, please be careful.

Sam, swearing and cursing isn't going to get me to let you out of that chair, especially when you keep telling me 'gramma said so, let me go!' Your gramma isn't there and if you inch any closer to my knife rack I will use the syringe Doc gave me.

Ugh.

I need more of those pills.

I don't think I'm supposed to take this many but it just keeps coming up and it's black, black, black and it tastes like a mix of sulfur and spoiled milk and it just keeps coming and coming and I'm trying to keep in in the sink but the garbage disposal is starting to choke on all of the black goop.

It's not supposed to be this bad, it's not supposed to be this bad, it's not supposed to be this bad...

The most important part of this business isn't planning.

The most important part is planning for the plan to go wrong in every way, shape and form.

And right now we're watching everything come flying slow motio off of the perfect little tracks.

Ha. Hahahaha.

As if there were any tracks here to begin with.

...

I was supposed to try and summarize what happened tonight.

I dont think that's happening right now.

Shouldn't have taken so many of those pills. But it just keeps coming and coming and...

Sam, I'm going to put you under if you don't

Okay, that's it. I'm putting you under anyways.

Let's hope its better in the morning.

I'll summarize in the morning.

-Sam- voices

Ever since that delivery, I've been hearing things.

seeing things.

On the drive home it was like i was waking up from a nightmare until the fucking nightmare started following me. i've slept once since we got home. once. and i woke up all the way across the house, next to the door to the east wing.

my mom was standing over me. and then she turned into him.

And then apparently i screamed so loud i should have woken up half the house, but nobody heard except spencer because he's the only person in the east wing.

I hate having a house this big. hate it. there's never anyone to hear you scream and goddammit, i've been doing a lot of that lately.

Just now i heard my grandma talking, right next to my ear.

she's mad that i let her die.

i think i need some more caffeine

-sam

-Sam- I'm only good at fighting when I'm in a vehicle.

It's true. As August mentioned earlier, I kicked some creepy masked dude ass today from our FREE CANDY van. The fact that I've ingested about four times the recommended daily amount of caffeine probably didn't hurt either. Right now I am so tired but I think sleep is completely out of the question, for lots of reasons.

I'm really not looking forward to the walking part of our delivery. On foot, I suck at fighting. Really, really suck at it. Doesn't help that most of my weapons came from some garage I broke into whilst escaping from the fiery doom that was my grandma's house. What am I supposed to do, fight off proxies with a hammer? (Also "whilst" was probably not the best word to use there but I like that word, dammit. Whilst. Whilst. Whilst whilst whilst. GOD I HAVE HAD SO MUCH CAFFEINE TODAY.)

Anyway, I have no idea where we are right now. Are we still moving? I really don't know. August is driving right now (obviously) and I think he may have gotten us lost. Again. (August would also like to point out that I have gotten us lost far more times than he has. Which is probably true. A lot of it is because I can't, you know, drive. Fortunately I'm a fast learner.)

...Hmm. What else is there to say right now? Well, I should have profound advice to offer like everyone else, but I just don't. I am not the profound advice kind of person. Right now the my thoughts mostly consist of "CAFFEINE GOOD" and "ACK MASKED GUY KILL IT KILL IT"

Whoa. I killed people today.

I. Killed. People. Today.

Shit, I can't think about this right now. Sam out.

-Sam- Funny.

If somebody told me a few months ago that I'd be living with these people, I'd say I'd rather die.

But now that it's a choice between living with these idiots and dying out there in some alley, I'm still here. Even though I probably will be dead soon enough. I don't know much about our next delivery, but I kind of have a horrible feeling about it.

Shit, sorry this post is so short. There's really not much to say and I think I hear somebody calling me. (Dammit, Doc, I'm busy. Why do you need my help this exact second?)

God, she's got worse timing with this stuff than my grandma. Gotta go now. If there's more to say later, I'll edit.

-Sam

-Sam- Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing here.

Hello world, I'm Sam Carnegie. I'll tell you right off that I'm pretty much the most worthless member of the team. All these guys, they're all tough and experienced, right? They're good at this surviving business. Me, I barely lasted a fucking month on my own out there. When Spencer found me, I'd just been attacked by a hobo. A hobo. Not Mr. Faceless, not one of his crazies. Just some drunk homeless guy. And I could barely hold him off.


I guess I'm staying here, though. I figure for me it's a choice between growing a (metaphorical) pair and working for Spence and co, or being out on my own and dying a horrible death in some dark alleyway. Which will probably still happen. But at least I'll be getting paid for it.


Also, I'm a girl. Just thought I'd mention that.