I came to this House for protection, and maybe a bit of cash on the side to keep living my life.
Skull Fortresses? Armed guards? Playing some fucked up game of Counter-Strike in a castle to neutralize a proxy enclave? Getting captured, beaten, shocked…And seeing Spence, once again taking the limelight as the most dangerous thing in my life. For in all the confusion, in all of the terror…none was so horrible as Spencer Fitzgerald. The one who pays me, the one whose house I live in, the one who I really can’t say jack-all about as long as I continue to make use of his hospitality.
So I won’t.
Adieu.
I wanted to put that Michael Jackson popcorn gif in my comment, but Blogger won't let me. Damnit.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for anyone who doesn't believe this post, I just saw his truck go screeching down the road. Fantastic.
Good luck to you out there, Steele. If you're reading this, know that I won't mind giving you a hand if you need it, courier or not.
Once again, Steele proves to be the one with the most wits about him. And a Seinfeld fan. His positive qualities are never ending.
ReplyDeletejust wish some of us had the same option as you.
... Best of luck, Steele. If anybody's going to make it out there, it's you.
ReplyDeleteExpect phone calls. Lots of them. Just because you're not a courier doesn't mean I'm not going to stop worrying about you.
<3
ReplyDeleteYou can take the man out of the chaos, but you still can't take the chaos out of the man.
Bye, Steele.
ReplyDeleteTry to stay alive, okay?
I just realized how backhanded "give a hand" probably reads. Fuck, sorry.
ReplyDeleteMy offer's still good, though. I'll gladly help you if you need it.
Fucking hell, Steele, you're an even bigger asshole than I previously thought.
ReplyDeleteProbably a smart move, though it should have been made months ago.
ReplyDeleteBe careful
ReplyDeleteFuk yoi fpr leabing me aloen with the crszies
ReplyDeleteElaine, really? You think he's an asshole for being the most rational? I mean, I can see some reasons you might think it would be a good idea to stay, but Steele doesn't have Spencer's dick to look forward to.
ReplyDelete... What I find dickish about it is that not only is he leaving while the rest of you are still reeling and trying to recover but instead of quietly talking to folks in person he puts up a grandstanding blog post and then takes the fuck off.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I think this makes him a humongous fucking asshole. Hey Steele, did you even stop to think that your actions affect people other than you?
Hi Grov!
ReplyDeleteHey Elaine, did you even stop to think that maybe he has a fucking point? You even stop to think that this was the easier way?
ReplyDeleteIt's a fucking band-aid. He just ripped it off quickly to get it over with. Who could he have talked to?
August would have tried to convince him otherwise.
Spencer would have killed him.
Amanda's drugged up, and Doc's probably high on something.
Sam's always terrified.
Todd's too much of a pussy.
So who was he gonna come crying to? You? Cause I know how fond you are of him. You know, it's funny. Had he told you personally that he was leaving, you would have encouraged him. Fucking hypocrite.
Like I give a fuck if he talks to me. But I think you lot deserve better than being told on a blog. Go fuck yourself, Grov
ReplyDeleteActually, I've been doing a better job at staying consistently sober since my run-in with Teller.
ReplyDeleteAsshole.
Already am, Elaine.
ReplyDeleteYou know how they say if you use your non-dominate hand, it's like a stranger?
Well I one upped that.
(I can take control of one hand at a time.)
Uh. Good for you, Grov. I'm honestly kind of surprised either of the others is cooperating with you enough for that...
ReplyDeleteThough I guess it's good you can make masturbation interesting because you're certainly never going to get anyone else to fuck you.
Grov I would not have killed him because that would've been very, very rude. And mean. And completely stupid seeing as this is not the first time this has happened. :I
ReplyDeleteReally. I get it, you hate me.
But you're being a cuntnugget and I don't like this very much.
So I'll say it once.
SHUT.
THE FUCK.
UP.
<3
Elaine, do you think murder is the only bad thing I do to people?
ReplyDeleteSpencer, I don't recall you being a part of this conversation at all. Your bitch can fend for herself.
Be nice, Grov. Don't make me come in there and hold you down until your tantrum is over and then make you go without treats for a week. It will be incredibly awkward as you glare me down when we go out for walkies.
ReplyDelete... Is it even possible to rape yourself? Apparently. Just goes to show what an absolute scumbag you are.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I'm not his bitch. I'm a bitch who is getting more action than you ever will. It just happens to (sometimes) be with Spencer.
You'd like it if I acted like a dog, wouldn't you? Do you get off on that?
ReplyDeleteOh, so you /are/ a slut. The first step to solving a problem is admitting it.
Not a slut. I just have two lovers. And like sex. And even if I still were, is that a problem? Is there something wrong with liking to have a lot of sex?
ReplyDeleteShame they don't do a twelve-step program for... what are you again? It's a little hard to keep track with all the bullshit flying around.
ReplyDeleteOh, okay. So you're not a slut.
ReplyDeleteYou're just a typical woman.
You are so fucking lucky I'm not at the fucking House right now you little twat!
ReplyDeleteI'm so terrified.
ReplyDeleteOoh, look at how you capitalize the H in "House". It shows that it's important. Can you capitalize the H in "Hoe"? Or "Handjob"? Cause those must be important to you, too.
Well, I dislike gardening and hand jobs-so much more fun to use other things. So... nope.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you're a douchecanoe
You create interesting cuss words, moosewhore.
ReplyDeleteWell hello there, welcome to the internet, Grov. I didn't make it, I promise.
ReplyDeleteHey! Punch & Judy, the adults are busy with other things, so keep it down, alright~?
ReplyDelete...No one haunted by Slenderman is older than thirty.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean adults?
Grov, I have a forty year old Stalked just upstairs. Wrong again.
ReplyDeleteDo you fuck him too?
ReplyDeleteElaine. You're not an idiot. Stop. Feeding. The. Troll.
ReplyDeleteSo... yes?
ReplyDelete... And with that, I'm out.
ReplyDeleteSomething I said?
ReplyDeletecoughCowardcough
I think I just figured out who my favorite out of you seven are.
ReplyDeletetrolls be trollin hard. Good luck with everything on your own Steele. Everyone deserves to make their own choices and some things just have to be done.
ReplyDelete