Wednesday, 29 June 2011

-Todd- Anxiety

Well, we're fucked. It's happening again.

I never lose this much time. Not anymore. Everything was going so damn well. Why, why, why now?

To clarify, this post is more to August than anyone else. I'm so sorry.

The last thing I remember before everything went dark was actually thinking and saying out loud to myself "I've been doing so well." Then a long empty space, and then waking up on some sidewalk, feeling numb and almost blinded [a feeling i'm sure spencer knows all too well].

Of course, my first thought was "Oh my god, it's finally happened. Shit, shit, shit!" I took off the hoodie I don't even remember owning, and ran for... a long time. My knees felt on fire by the time I was stopped. I collapsed on a bench, where I could think to myself. The more I thought about it, the more things became confusing. Usually when I black out and do something violent, my fingers feel like shit. They felt normal. I also usually wake up blade in hand, and I didn't even have it on me.

I saw a library across the street. I walked in, wanting to use the computer, expecting the blog to say something about "Todd killed everyone!". Then I read that August was attacked. I started flipping out, until I read he stabbed the guy. Needless to say, I didn't feel very stabbed.

i'm just glad things didn't


  1. ...

    Oh come on.

    I know I don't exactly look like a guy and - and Spencer has put me in a dress a few times but ...


  2. In other news, that sudden cut can't be good.


    Has anybody seen Todd around?

  3. Meh. He'll turn up. He's a big boy, and he can take care of himself.

  4. Todd, were YOU the one who stole out of my supply stash?

    That aside, what have your other symptoms been lately? Have you been experiencing paranoia, lethargy, or vertigo?

  5. By the way, August, I don't see anything wrong with the sudden cut, maybe he was tired and freaked out and published his post before he finished his sentence. I mean, not to burst your bubble or anything, but people who get killed or hurt mid-sentence at a keyboard don't tend to hit the "send" button.

    Just saying.

  6. In order:

    Sudden cut? What sudden cut?
    I... I do not remember writing that.

    Doc's probably right. I wrote this in a rush.

    Seen me around? I doubt it. I ran for a long time. I might not even be in the same city.

    Hope to god I'll turn up. I'll try and get back to you guys as soon as I get my bearings.

    Your supplies? I try and make sure I don't remember where people's things are, you know, just in case this happens. But it is possible.

    I've been feeling fine. Right now I'm pissed at my lack of ability to control myself, but other than that, fine.

  7. Well, whatever. Todd, I'm just glad you had the common sense to not assume that you were the one I had a little run-in with near the radio towers.

    Now, the one a few miles outside of the city ...

    Well, I don't think that was you. Hard to tell in the dark, though. Didn't kill 'em so I guess it doesn't matter. Get home same, huh?


  8. If you figure out where you are and need a ride, I'll try to get out there. You can't have gone more than a few miles out, but I'd wager you'll get back on your feet quicker if you don't have to shamble all the fuck the way back here on your own.

    Good to hear you aren't having any other symptoms, but let me know as soon as possible if that changes.

  9. ...

    Can't take my eye off of you kids for a second, can I?

    Todd, stay where you are, I'm picking you up. Least you can do is help me with the delivery I'm going on tonight. Need some... muscle, if you get what I mean.

  10. In order, again:

    I really hoped that wasn't me. If I ever flip out on you, ANY of you, you have my permission to kill me, if you can't incapacitate me. (Was that sentence grammatically correct?)

    (maybeIliketheideaofyoubeingagirl. Or maybe I made a typo. Maybe.)

    Doc, I didn't have any symptoms or triggers before I went. Normally there is. I'll let you know from now on though.

    Spencer, you almost sound... sober.

  11. I am sober, kid. There, see you.

    The fuck...? How did you get all the way out-

    I'm not even asking. Fuck the delivery, we're going home.

  12. Well, I rather enjoyed that vicarious field trip to find the resident crazy. Never say we don't do anything fun.

  13. Steele: I feel as though I should be offended. But I also feel as though I'm not really allowed to.

    Spence: I swear to GOD I do not remember writing that. Who uses brackets, anyways?

  14. You'll get over it. I say it with love, and only a slight amount of derision.

  15. Spence was sober. What a trip.