Sunday, 4 March 2012

-August- Sweet Little Augustine

Overall, I think it went quite well.

I suppose if you can dismiss the fact that we lost the van, were nearly killed, and had to walk ten miles to find a dealership that would be willing to sell three people with five days' worth of luggage on our backs and in our hands whatever car we pleased, no questions asked.

I think paying in cash helped.

We got back not too long ago, actually, and believe me when I say I have never been so glad to see the House. Sure, the floors weren't exactly spotless anymore and there were a massive pile of dishes in the sink (we bought a dishwasher, you know!) that needed cleaning, but there really isn't any place like home. Though I admit I'm a little upset I won't be able to stay long enough to get down to business; I've got another short delivery to do once I unpack and wash up. The usual, really; another dying lunatic's journal to be delivered to an online friend before his days are up. They're always so sad. I take it upon myself to do these deliveries because I like to think I'm able to comfort them in their last few days, not to mention the fact that I've always found it funny how people seem to just know their time is up. I've met some people who have predicted their deaths down to the minute and the location of the wound that killed them, though I have to say I've never really stuck around to find out if they were right. Still, you hear it on the local radio or sometimes the news; unknown man found dead, thought to be homicide, more information on the hour.

... Jesus, I'm feeling morbid tonight.

Let's end this on a light note, then. We ended up getting a 1991 Firebird from the dealership just outside the city. The salesman was a balding 40-something in a rented tuxedo and oozed slime like our van oozed oil, and immediately approached us asking what 'the lovely couple' were looking for.

The lovely couple in this situation being, naturally, Doc and Steele.

We weren't sure what to make of it, either.

Once we managed to get the giggling under control (I was 'their perfect, darling daughter Augustine' - haha. I would have been upset, but the fact is he bought it completely) Doc and Steele decided to see just how far they could lead this guy on, mentioning they were coming up from their wedding in New Orleans and needed a new car, because Doc's (apparently now named Veronica) uncle had gone a little overboard with the champagne and trashed their previous car, as well as the rented limo. They had spent most of their money paying for damages and insurance and needed a cheap car, quick, so they could get back to work. Not a complete lie.

He ended up selling us the Firebird for half price. Steele says he has plans to convert it into the Knight Rider or something - I don't know my 80s TV shows very well, but by the description he gave me, it's going to look fantastic when it's finished. It's not a simple paint job like the Mystery Machine was but hey, we've got nothing but money and free time.

( For now, anyway. )

See you soon, everybody. Stay safe.


  1. As I said, I'm glad you're all doing alright.
    And. Uh. You can pass quite well, I still remember you in that dress.

    1. The dress doesn't count. I stuffed a bra and everything!

  2. That guy must have been pretty dumb. Unless I've been misreading things, they're nowhere near old enough to be your parents.

    1. Either that or oblivious. We were giggling like idiots the entire time.

    2. You clearly haven't seen me in real life: I have a grey hair or two and I'm only 27. This industry ages you pretty horribly.

      On the bright side, it lets me fuck with stupid car salesmen.

  3. ... Huh. You out there, kid? I know you check the blog even when your phone loses signal.

    Call me, alright? S'stupid, but after that ambush...

    1. Sorry 'bout that, boss. You know how the border tunnels are.

    2. I'll try not to call when you're going across the other way - I tried to call earlier, but you must've been busy. Oh well, I'll see you when you get back, if nothing else.

  4. Got away alive AND with a firebird? Sounds like that was a pretty nice trip you guys had there.