Pages

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

-Spencer- Screw you all

She's not dead.

I don't see what you're all freaking out about, because she can't be dead. She promised she'd come back, and friends keep promises no matter what.

Rachael was not a liar

RACHAEL WAS NOT A LIAR.

So stop this. Stop with the calling and the messages and the fucking asking if I'm okay. I'm fine, because Rachael is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is going to be fine. She'll be back, I know it. Now if only my head would stop pounding...

105 comments:

  1. BROTHER. Sorry to be bearer of bad news, but your friend Rachael is WORM FOOD. Pushing up daisies. Six feet under. She has kicked the bucket. Shuffled off the mortal coil. She. Is. Dead. And it is HILARIOUS to watch you go into such hardcore denial. I almost want to send flowers and a card. But that would be a waste of money. You see, Rachael is going to get some company in Hell soon... Have no fear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fuck off. You're lying. Don't you have something better to do?

      Delete
    2. Oh. Tons of things better to do than talking to deluded broken shell of man like you. But currently, I don't have anything quite as FUNNY.
      I am sure could get pictures of the corpse if you want it. We like to make sure our people are dead. Spread the news like wildfire. Wildfire. I wonder if she was cremated or just left to rot in a coffin like so many others. Whatever the case, her death seems like it was painful. Probably could have used a BIG STRONG MAN like you out there... But she didn't I have one. So sad.

      Delete
    3. She's not dead. Stop playing these stupid games with me!

      ... Haha, say what you like, I can just ignore you. c:

      Delete
  2. But these games are so FUN and you are so easy to beat.
    My. You don't seem like yourself right now. Something the matter, Spencer?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely NOTHING is wrong. Everything is fine, asshole.

      Delete
  3. Oh, you can ignore us all you like, sweetheart. We are not but words on a page.

    You can continue to lie to yourself. Ignoring the truth of everything around you. Including her.

    You can write all the words you like.

    You can speak your denials out-loud.

    Whisper her name.

    Recount your last words together.

    Paste on a smile.

    But in the end, Spencer... even you can see your words are not by hollow echoes. My dearest brother, you're not even putting effort into holding the blindfold in place anymore, are you?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ... fuck you
      fuck you
      FUCK YOU SHUT UP YOU DON'T KNOW FUCKING ANYTHING

      I'm trying so hard but I need people to keep their promises

      but Rachael will. I have faith in her. So you can shut your stupid face.

      Delete
    2. I know more than you give me credit for, darling. For every calm word, there's a scream in every space. One just has to listen. And I listen well, I assure you.

      Rachael is gone, Spencer. She left you behind. Just like they all will, eventually. Then you won't have to worry about broken promises anymore. Empty rooms only offer what they have. No more. No less.

      Now, doesn't that sound nice?

      Delete
    3. who fucking died and MADE YOU GOD? You don't know ANYTHING I'm not listening to you and your fucking mind games. Go be all mysterious somewhere fucking else.

      And you don't have any fucking right to use my name, stop it, STOP IT.

      Delete
    4. You don't want to be called Spencer? Fine. How about Teller?

      Delete
    5. ... fuck you. FUCK YOU THAT'S NOT ME

      That's not me. Hhhhoww about my last name, fucktard?

      Delete
    6. Last name? For shame. I feel we are on a True Name Basis, don't you agree Teller? And it is you. That much is growing more and more apparent. Every second brings you one step closer to Him and His loving arms.

      Delete
    7. Spencer, Teller, and so much more... and yet, in many ways, you run and hide from every name, don't you? Lie upon lie upon lie upon lie. Building up, layer by layer. Pretending you can shed one life by changing what word you answer to. Yet another delusion sure to collapse down.

      It's the Emperor's New Robes, darling. When you wear a jacket of lies, the only fool is yourself. Spencer.

      Delete
    8. ... Title. It's my title and it doesn't mean anything because it's not a name.

      I... Am never going back to Father. I can fucking promise you that.

      Delete
    9. A Childish Rebellion. You are like a teenage girl rebelling against DADDY. Teller, you'll be back with us before you know it. And everyone around you will be dead. How does that make you feel? OH WAIT. It doesn't. Am I right?

      Delete
    10. You shut up. YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP.
      I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm absolutely normal. See? And if everyone died I'd want to die too. That's enough.

      ... I mean, isn't it...?

      Delete
    11. Of course you'd want to die, darling. Life isn't fun when you don't have toys. When you can't play the Game. One is a lonesome number. Capable of so very little. But never fear, my dearest brother. When they all die, your family will be there to welcome you back with open arms. As will our Father. As you never truly left Him, now did you? He's always been waiting. Can't you feel Him?

      Delete
    12. No. No I do NOT thank you very much. He's not here He's not here He's not here with me right now. There's only my pounding head but that's IT AND THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. Understand?!?

      Delete
    13. He will always be with you, brother. That is a truth that sounds right down to your core. You already know you never left Him. And you already know He never left you. How could He? How could we? You're one of us, Spencer...

      And we miss our brother.

      Delete
    14. I'm not part of your twisted family. I'm not. I'm... I...

      Delete
    15. Brother. You will always be a part of our family, so long as the blood that flows through your veins is that of a Murderer, a Monster, and a Sociopath. Someday, this little game of pretend will be over Teller, and you will be forced to reveal what lurks inside. We know you Teller. We know what you are feeling right now. And we know what you don't feel... And we know why it KILLS you inside. When the game is over, Teller, you will come back into the loving arms of our Dread Father. And it will be good to have our long lost brother back.

      Delete
    16. No, fuck, I try. I try so hard but it hurts, it HURTS. I try but I'm not sure if I try hard enough, I... want it to be real so much

      I'm normal. Shut up, I'm normal. Everything. Is. Fine.

      Delete
    17. Sometimes wanting something isn't enough, Spencer. Just because you make a wish on a shooting star, do you truly expect to be anything else than what you are? Why torture yourself, sweetheart? There's no point to it. Only delay. Only more pain.

      Aren't you tired of hurting by now, brother?

      Aren't you tired of the weight of your chains?

      You are not normal. You are so much more than that. You are special, Spencer. And that doesn't have to be a bad thing. It isn't a bad thing. I wouldn't lie to you, brother. You know that, don't you?

      Delete
    18. I don't trust you. I DON'T TRUST YOU I don't... I don't trust you even... a little. Not even a little...?

      I... don't know. I don't.

      Delete
    19. What does your heart say? OH WAIT YOU CAN'T HEAR IT. In that case, what does you head say? The Loudest of the voices? I bet I can tell you what it is SCREAMING for you to do... It wants you to go back with the people who love and understand you. The only ones who truly do. Us. Father. WE Are your salvation Teller. You will be unable to deny it soon. I promise. And people keep their promises... Don't they?

      Delete
    20. My FRIENDS keep their promises.

      You are not my friend. I HATE YOU. I hate people like you. It was people like you that Rachael had to run from and who eventually killed-

      No, she's not. She's alive. She's alive despite it all.

      Delete
    21. She is dead, Spencer. Nothing you say can reverse that now.

      Brother... you only hate us because we speak the truth you don't want to hear. Because, inside, you know we understand. You know you can trust us. And, despite what they say... it is not a crime to have trust in your family. It is what we are here for. What we have always been here for.

      You can trust me, Spencer... but I understand if you don't want to yet. I understand. As your sibling, I understand.

      But that doesn't mean I'll be walking away.

      No. I'll be waiting.

      Just like Father is.

      Delete
    22. Fuck your shit. There are those of us on the other side who care for him more than you lot ever could.

      Delete
    23. Like who? You? Don't make me laugh. You don't care about him, like you didn't care for Morningstar. You care about yourself. You own pleasure. Friends and Lovers are what you care about. But not because they are people... It is because they lift you up out of the slum of your own worthlessness and self-loathing.
      And you are an even bigger fool than I thought if you think Teller cares about you. Right Teller?

      Delete
    24. You're an idiot and a liar.

      Delete
  4. Oh, lay off the big lug: he's been through enough, and doesn't need ANOTHER condescending fuck calling him out on his pathological, to the verge of sod-off-annoying inability to accept what's in front of him.

    That's our job.

    Spence, hun...She might not be able to keep her promise. I'm sincerely sorry, but no matter how hard you protest to the contrary, your protesting can't bring her back.

    All you can do is hope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spencer is a big boy. He doesn't need YOU protecting him. You have to let them grow up sometime, and remind that the DEATH of loved ones is an inevitability that we all must face from time to time.

      Delete
    2. I don't have to HOPE, Leon, because I know she'll keep her promise. She... don't you dare tell me she LIED. That's not who she is and she'll come back, I know it.

      Delete
    3. Okay hun, don't be a prat now. She didn't lie; lie implies she consciously broke her promise. She might be unable to keep it, is all I'm saying.

      And Vanitas...He might not NEED me protecting him, but boy oh boy, with people like YOU around, so UNTHREATENING that your method attack appears to be SHIFT KEY-ING Spence to death and just generally attempting to seem like a BIG OL' BADASS, protecting him is a goddamn joy.

      Delete
    4. Are you telling me my method of attack is actually WORKING on him? Boy oh boy he must be even further gone than I thought. Don't underestimate the power of the shift key Boy.

      Delete
    5. ... can everyone just stop being stupid? Is that a possible thing? Like, seriously, shut up. I'm fine. Everything is fine. I don't get what we're arguing about.

      Delete
    6. Come now TELLER. You know everything is not fine. It is so obvious it HURTS. Rachael's Dead Rachael's Dead, Rachael is DEAD. She broke her promise. She LIED to you. How does that make you feel TELLER?

      Delete
    7. Yes, love. "Unthreatening" does imply that you're shoving Spencer dear into a terrifying hole of despair from which he'll never escape. Who needs Mr. Thin when we have Mr. EMPHASIS on ARBITRARY WORDS?

      Delete
    8. Hmmm. Guess I should try harder then, yes? I do appear to have made TELLER mad though. Poor dear. He needs his beloved Writer to make it through the day, you know... I wonder how long it will be before they are reunited with one another. I bet you won't live to see it Steely.

      Delete
    9. ... and Steele will live fine, though he won't have to see anything. I HATE WRITER. Hardly going back so he can be a creepy possessive asshole.

      Delete
    10. I've lived longer than expected already, my lovely. Anything more is just gravy. And man, do I love gravy.

      August, can we have a roast tonight?

      Delete
  5. Spence, I... sometimes people can't keep their promises because of things out of their control.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOOK WHO SHOWED UP TO THE PARTY. LAINEY GIRL. Good to see you here. Want to say something stupid now that will drive Good Ol' Spence further into insanity? No? Then shut up and leave.

      Delete
    2. Hey, asshole, what did I FUCKING SAY? I. Am. FINE. And thanks Elaine, but I have faith in her. I mean, she wouldn't lie to me. She'll keep her promise, I know it!

      Delete
    3. I'm sure she did everything she could. But sometimes things happen that are beyond people's control.

      Delete
    4. ... you think she's dead too.
      But she's not. She's not, I know she's not! Because she wouldn't lie, no matter what, okay? She just... wouldn't.

      Delete
    5. It's really not that simple. Just like how Star promised he'd always be there for me, but he died, and he couldn't keep his promise, but it wasn't his fault, he did everything he could.

      Delete
    6. ... no no no no no NO it can't be the same thing, it just can't. Because she has to come back. She just has to. She still has too much to do t'just be dead, Elaine.

      Delete
    7. I know, love. I know.
      I'm so sorry.

      Delete
    8. Oh please. It totally was Starry's fault. If he would just killed that dumb bitch when he burned down her farm, he could have been here today. Presumably helping with this little therapy session for Teller.
      And I am sure you get this a lot Lainey but... He would CERTAINLY still be here had you not fucked everything up.

      Delete
    9. You shut up, Star tried his fucking best to the last SECOND. He was a loyal servant of Father-

      ... a loyal friend. And he wanted to be free. Don't you dare go after Elaine because you don't know ANYTHING about her.

      And if you're really going after her right in front of me, then you don't know how dangerous I can be.

      Delete
    10. Cifer was an unstable MORON. Frankly Elaine should consider herself fortunate that he died as quick as he did. Inevitably he would have decided NOT to be her friend anymore and probably knife her in the back. As I recall, he killed a few "Friends" before. And family.
      Teller I know EXACTLY how dangerous you are. Hence why I am here trying to convince you to use your powers for what they were meant for. Serving our beloved Father. It's not like you are good at anything else, after all...

      Delete
    11. I do good. Look at all this. I have friends. No, stop, I'm FINE. I do plenty of good. I help. I fucking... I... I help more than I hurt.

      Delete
  6. Oh but that's not what it's about at all, is it Spencer? Not about her.

    No, you just want a happy ending for once. You want to imagine that even one of you can live past all of this, so that there will be hope left for your little cub scout squad. You don't want to admit the truth- that you will die last. And that you will die alone.

    And that no matter what you do, how hard you struggle, how clever your flight...in the end, you'll have contributed to more than one of the deaths of your "friends".

    Just give in now, Teller. Sanity is overrated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DON'T. CALL. ME. THAT.

      and you're just a big fat liar as it fucking stands, Rhodes. Konaa promised to keep alive, didn't he? And you know what? HE DID. So you can take your little mind games and truth and SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS because I'm fine and Rachael is fine and everything is fine and it's going to be fine. Shut it.

      Delete
    2. Would you like me to bring you her body? I imagine it's still warm...You're used to blood on your doorstep, naturally.

      Delete
    3. There is no body because SHE ISN'T FUCKING DEAD. STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME!!!

      Delete
  7. I can't imagine losing a friend like that (probably because I don't have any.)

    I don't think that Rachel was a liar either. I think she was just like the rest of us. Desperate, scared, except she had been for so long even before that walking, staring abomination came into her life.

    You and all of her friends eased that though. You made her happy. I think that's the least we can do for each other in life and what we should remember in death.

    I'm sorry, Spencer. I'm sorry for Racheal too. I'm sorry for all of this.

    I hope she's in a better place now. I hope she's happy. I think she deserves at least that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ... I... Thanks. Thank you so much. But I still believe in her. Just wait.

      She made me really happy too.

      And... she still has stuff she needs to get done. So she can't be dead.

      Delete
    2. Happy? SHE'S DEAD. And she couldn't even fulfill her promise to Teller! MAN I don't know what is more heartless. Her not fulfilling the Promise, or the fact that Teller CONTINUES to hold her to it even after Death. I bet her last thoughts were apologizing for not being able to keep the promise. HAHAHAHA. Teller old boy, who says you aren't still one of us. To let someone die with such sorrow in their hearts.

      Delete
    3. No problem, Spence. It's all I can do.


      Hey, Vagitas. Shut your goddamn mouth. Go outside or something and get mugged. No body gives a fuck about you so go fallaciate yourself or something in front of your laptop in your sad lonely little room wherever the hell you are.

      Delete
    4. No, no, no. It's the reverse. I Mug OTHER people. Not get mugged myself.
      You know COYOTE, I think that it is PRETTY low to insult Teller like this. He isn't Nobody. He clearly cares about my opinions, otherwise he wouldn't be responding now would he?
      And I am in a Motorhome thank you very much. And I am hardly alone so this neither the time nor place for that.

      Delete
    5. Not alone at all, he'll always have his left hand.

      Delete
    6. Ha ha? Coyote? Surely you can read that my name is Moose Von DerpenStein high poobah of the fourth order of the intergalactic house of pancakes.

      Honestly I have a pink flamingo that gives more fucks about who you are than I do and all it cares about is bathing in the blood of the innocent.

      Shit, Konaa, I didn't think of that. Ahahaha!

      Delete
    7. He is right you know. These road trips are often stressful and lonely. Miles and miles of nothing as far as the eye can see...

      The Pink Flamingo is clearly the smart one.

      Delete
    8. The Pink One knows all.


      fapfapfapfapfapfap

      Delete
    9. ...I swear to god, if I wasn't taken...

      Delete
  8. So tired of the straight line,
    And everywhere you turn,
    There's vultures and thieves at your back.

    The storm keeps on twisting.
    Keep on building the lies
    That you make up for all that you lack.

    It don't make no difference,
    Escape one last time.
    It's easier to believe in this sweet madness,
    Oh, this glorious sadness,
    That brings me to my knees.

    ReplyDelete
  9. People die. That's what they fucking well DO, you fucking moron. How can you fail to understand that? And justifying yourself to brain-dead losers? Fucking pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ... she was my friend

      she is my friend DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT

      I'LL FUCKING //KILL YOU//

      Delete
    2. I'm not trying to goad your pathetic, stupid, in-denial, not to mention emotionally crippled ass. And I get that? You're letting this get to you. Keep that in mind. You are letting them get to you.

      Your friend. Is dead. Until you get over that, the parade of shit and bile isn't going to fucking stop, you goddamned miserable excuse for a man.

      The doubt doesn't stop either. So pick yourself up off the goddamn ground loser.

      Delete
    3. Shut up. People come back. People come back all the time.

      Why do you have to try to ruin this for me? She's not, she fucking promised. She's not dead, you miserable bastard.

      Delete
    4. Because being delusional about it is only going to hurt more.

      You get the fuck over it now for Christ's sake. If only because no one you give a shit about wants to see you this pathetic. Do you think she would?

      Delete
    5. you don't fucking understand anything, you miserable, disgusting little shit. Leave me alone. Fuck off, she's ALIVE so it doesn't really matter. she can tell me what she thinks when she comes back.

      Delete
    6. Christ, that is just rich. I understand people dying well enough I think.

      A different approach then? Your friend, nice person right? Would she deliberately let you go through this? Would the guy named after a Bram Stoker character have the brains to get into her blog? Same answer: Probably not.

      Apply Occam's Razor Fitzgerald. The simplest explanation remains the most plausible until evidence proves otherwise. And the hypothesis which makes the fewest assumptions is usually correct.

      Get over yourself, dumbass.

      Delete
    7. And the trolls just keep coming. Come on, guys. One of the few shreds of optimism I've seen in the entire blogosphere, and you jackasses have to try and crush it. Sadists, all of you. Go and crawl back to your master. Someday soon he'll be hanging you from the trees by your entrails. That's the least you deserve.

      Delete
  10. Wow, it's like fucking high school all over again. Bunch of pricks poking at someone when they're fucking vulnerable. That's really fucking mature. Actually, given a lot of the "adults" I've met, it probably is.

    Moose, Coyote, whoever the fuck, has a point, as does Elaine. Don't know you and don't know the chick in question, so that's the best I can offer beyond that I'm really fucking sorry you're having to deal with this shit.

    -Darts

    ReplyDelete
  11. Is this really all you guys have?

    Redlight would've backed up his words with action.

    But it seems like all proxies are these days is talk.

    You couldn't even off Rachel. Her own past caught up to her.

    At the risk of sounding like a shonen villain...pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If we didn't both have girlfriends, I'd fucking kiss you for saying that. Bunch of little bitches.

      Delete
    2. Is that an invitation Hero-Boy?

      Delete
    3. Oooh, I once said I don't feel like a hero, so bringing it up means you are DIGGING AT ME. OH MY GOD THESE EMOTIONAL WIRES. OH GEEZ OUCH THEY ARE SO PAINFUL.

      Any time...assuming you're not too busy being bossed around by a bald guy in a silver overcoat.

      Delete
    4. ... My immediate boss has... Hair. Actually.
      Don't I recall you attempting to rip off Batman? If that doesn't say "Hero Wannabe" I don't know what does.

      Delete
    5. No I wanted to rip off Batman cause Batman got SWAG, yo. Dat mansion, dat car, dat gear. Also jumping around in my pajamas throwing boomerangs and growling about justice sounds like the most fun ever.

      Delete
    6. Everyone wants to be Batman.
      Everyone

      Delete
    7. When you're trying to comment, post something that actually fucking means something next time.

      Better yet, don't post anything at all.

      Delete
  12. It's really terrible when people don't keep their promises.

    Rachael's dead, Spencer. But don't count her out yet. Stranger things have happened.

    You know where to meet me if you want to. I promise if you do, you won't regret it.

    And we all know I'm among those who keeps their promises.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or he could talk to people who aren't insane murderers.

      Just a suggestion. But what do I know?

      Delete
    2. Are you implying that murderers can't give good advice?

      I'm hurt. Truly.

      Delete
    3. Heh, maybe if I'm in the area, David. Hardly in a good mood, though. Fair warning.

      Delete
  13. ... She's dead, Fitzgerald.

    For god's bloody sake, stop this. Just... stop. You're embarrassing yourself. Everyone loses people close to them, you and us, and if they haven't yet, they're going to.

    You've just got to learn to tossing deal with it.

    That's all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're all a bunch of fucking cynics. What is WRONG with you all? I mean, I understand a bit of skepticism, but everyone here acts so hopeless it's like there's a proxy cutting your throat as you type.

      Delete
  14. Hey now. This is no time to be getting all down in the dumps about this Rachael dying thing. Why, I've been dead loads of times before, and that's never stopped me.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Look, kid, you're being stupid.

    Oh, not about believing she's still alive. That is entirely plausible actually. For one thing, people lie. There were no other witnesses to her death. And, most importantly, no body has been found so far.

    No, you're being stupid in thinking that she's alive because "she promised." People break their promises, intentionally or unintentionally, all the time. It happens. It's stupid to say "She's not dead because she promised," because that's like saying "The sun isn't going to come up because I promised it would stay night." Some things happen without our control.

    But, as I stated before, there are plausible reasons for her to be alive. I suggest that you find out where she was last, look for her, try to find any witnesses to her supposed last stand. You might be lucky. She might have just been wounded (hell, look at Konaa - shot in the chest and he's still kicking). She might still be alive.

    But don't be stupid and keep saying "She promised" like a broken record. Be proactive.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...Wasn't expecting something like this from you of all people, whitelight. I thought you would've trolled the fuck out of everyone here. Meh.

      Delete
  16. Fuck fuck fuck...

    Spence, I'm sorry for not being here. Truly I am.

    Everyone's already said the obvious, so let me say something a little bit different.

    Even if Rachel is dead, that doesn't mean she won't keep her promise. If you believe you'll see her again, then you will. But hopefully it won't be for a long time.

    Just be patient. And try not to be sad. I don't think she would have wanted you to beat yourself up over this.

    ReplyDelete
  17. She's not dead, guys. I'm with Spencer on this one. Some random fuckass just went and hacked her blog to try and troll us.

    Seriously, did any of you even read the fucking post? How the hell would any of you actually fall for a story as pathetic as that? Like her story would actually end that way.

    ugh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roark, how about you shut the fuck up and let the people who actually knew her grieve. You never met her, you never (as far as I know) fucking interacted with her at all. What the fuck right do you have to come in now and act like you know your shit? It's insulting to her memory, and it's hurtful to all of us.

      Delete
    2. ...I'm not quite sure how to respond to that.

      Delete