-Amanda- Harper

I'm feelin lucid.

Also I figurd out msot of spellcheck.

So Harper.

Funcking Harper.

He was brilliant, yo uknow? Fucking brilliant. Practically Spencer's goddamn protege. Only one besides the boss man himself who regularly ventured into the Wing. Crazy motherfuckin bastards, the both of them, messing with that god forsaken place.

Goddamn unlikable asshole too. But all of us are, aren't we? Personally, thought he was an alright kid. Good taste in smokes. Alwaus a good sign in my book. Hell, he even shared sometimes. Fucking even better sign.

But Harper.

This scrawny little spitfuck with a mess of shaggy ass hair and the fucking clearest blue eyes. Probably the best Courier we've ever had. Mostly solo work but he did it fast and he did it well. All we ask for in this business. Keep your cooll, stay sane, get the fucking package where it has to go. And Harper did that fan-fucking-tastically. Effieccent as fuck, wouldn't let anything stop him. Was fucking magnificent.

Wasn't great at the team sport shit thpugh. But who can blame him. Doc was still off her goddamn rocker in the worst fuckign way when he joined us, Spencer is fucking Spencer the motherfucker, Steele is a goddamn prick, Todd's not all there. August is sweet, aklmost fucking saccharine, but fuck sometimes he tries too hard. And then there's fucing me. Really, it's fucking sad that I was the most normal when he joined ud.

Apparently he'd been running for four months when Spence found im. Not a record, but not easy either. Was a fucking pro too, not many peple can spend 4 months running and look as good as he did when he came to the House. Didn't look fucking great, buut not bad.

Don't think he liked us mcuh but in this business you can t' choose your friends. Gotta work with whatcha got. Like I said, at leasy he had good taste in smokes. Never got terribly cluse to any of us but could alway count on findin us smoking pack afte pack together. Only one who could rival my nicotine intake.

It was almost happy for awhiel.

Then shit hit the fucking fan.

We were doing a group delivery and that should've fucking warned us. Shit always goes wrong on fucking group delivetires.

So yeah, shit was going fucking smoothly for once when it all went wrong.

He showed up. God fucking dammit He showed up. Harper tripped, fell and HE WAS RIGHT FUCKING THERE.

Right on top of him.

I remember screaming. Screaming so hard blood ran down my throat. He was an insufferable prick but he was my fucking teammate.

I thin Todd had to carry me kicking and thrashing away.

Goddamit, m too sober for this

Amanda: Hvae To Explain

So I'm fcukin awka. THought I should post.

May have noticed my rather extended absence. That's because I was off old fashioned delivery scumming. Time for a histrot lesson. We didn't always have this blog, so we used to to od things a bit differently. Lot more covert meet up and thirlling bullshit. Needed out of the house so I decided to help the porr funckif sods who don't have internet.

Left my laptop at the House for various reasons.

August caled everyday because he's my fuickng mom.

God I hate my legs on so mayn emds amd they stil hutr lke a btich

Auugust and Dco havent left me in fuckgn ages. Awlys askign if I ned shit or pain mes or shit. And sqabllin. Lotsa that. Thikn Doc druged August at one point. Nt srue. My senes of time is uterly fuced. Drak room and this wondrfull shit Doc has me on mae me all ltigh and confusd. Dont knw whta day it is

Fcuk spelin i'm goin back to sllep

-Amanda- Tired

God, I'm tired. So fucking tired. It's dragging at my bones and there's not a damn thing I can do. Coffee only goes so far, kids. Trust me.

All I want to do these days is curl up in my room. I've practically made myself a fucking nest in there. Even Poe is looking at me weird. Do you realize how fucking crazy you have to be for a fucking crow to notice? Christ.

So Elaine's here. Whatever nonexistent god have mercy on her. Good luck, you crazy bitch

-Amanda- Less Than Triumphant Return

Of all things to bring me out of fucking hibernation, it was Steele barging in with a trussed up Todd. Blood was fucking everywhere. Fuck, there's always blood isn't there? The fucking business seal of approval for us fucking idiots.

They both had multiple wounds, looks like a fight. Or two. I'm no doctor. Just saw stab wounds galore, trust me I know stab wounds, and what looked like gunshots.

I don't even want to know who the fuck thought letting Steele go after Todd was good idea but who ever that was can stick their foot so far up their ass they can taste fucking rubber.

So I can't leave these two fucktards bleeding on our floor so I went to grab some supplies.

And, well, I found some fucked up shit. Must've taken a wrong turn or something, because that room isn't fucking normal. It smelled like I don't even fucking know, sharp and wrong and kinda sickly. All piney and shit. Made me gag and that takes work.

And there were these tables, all lumpy and strange, covered in tarps. Pulled one off to see some coyote with glassy eyes looking up at me. It was all wrong, stitched together haphazardly. Looked like it's skin was too big for its head. Nearly pissed myself.

No shame in admitting I hightailed it, after grabbing the supplies from the right room. Hopefully Doc gets home soon, I'm terrible at first aid. And she has shit to explain.

-Amanda-

So we met up with Elaine last night. It went fan-fucking-tastically. I'm surprised that stupid restaurant didn't kick our sorry asses out. Hell, with the shit we started I can't believe the fucking cops weren't called. Fuck Spencer and his fucking theatrics. Sam's never going to shut up about this, ever.

So yeah, you could say it could've gone better. A lot fucking better. Spencer was still a bit out of it from finding him on that street corner which didn't help a damn thing.

He practically exploded when he heard Elaine's plans. Which are to stupidly trek across the country, alone, to finish up some business. Personally, I could care less but August and Spencer obviously care about this chick so she can't get hurt. Or I will be pissed.

I had to leave August and Spencer to take care of some stuff, so I'm two states over heading straight for home. Had to stop for the day because the shaking was making it hard to drive. Like hell am I letting Sam drive right now.

I'm gonna finish this pack and hopefully we'll be on the road again tomorrow

-Amanda- Sob Stories

We all have sob stories. Fuck us. It's a requirement for this god forsaken job. We all have fucking sob stories.

Something about this little trip of August's has got me all introspective. I hate that, I hate it so fucking much. I'm never introspective. Can't afford to be.

I miss Adam, the little shit. He was always so fucking happy, until the end. That's what really killed me, watching my stupid kid brother wither and fucking die. He was so damn sad and small in that hospital bed. He looked at me, could barely fucking talk but he managed to whisper something in my ear, 'run Mandy, run from the tree man' He would've been 11.

Like I said, I hate being fucking introspective. I made us change hotels, the other one gave me bad vibes. Made my fingers feel all numb and fucking cold. Can't fucking stand the cold, the cold is His.

And we picked up a surprise while trying to find another hotel. Found Spence on a street corner, covered in blood and muttering to himself. Don't know if the blood is his or some poor fucking sap's, not that it matters. We hauled his ass into the van because fuck we can't leave him there. He's curled up in the corner of our new hotel room and won't fucking speak. How the mighty have fucking fallen.

I hate this fucking trip, but I can't let August down. Fuck, I've let too many people down already.

-Amanda- Well Then

It seems the rats are jumping the doomed ship. Can't say I blame you, I feel it too. That feeling in my bones is getting worse, screaming at me to run to run as hard and far and fast as I can, But that won't help me. Been running for nearly four years and I know I cannot lose this, this strange motley group of people haunted by the same ghosts and locked in a a wrong house. We've, I've, lost too much already to ever just give this up.

Besides, someone has to guard the women and children, as it were. So, good luck you guys. You're gonna need it. I won't say goodbye because we don't have the luxury of goodbyes. Goodbyes are ends and have too little time for ends.

Steele, I'll be saving that bottle of absinthe for your return.

-Amanda- Strange What You Remember

So today's August's birthday. Eighteen. Fuck, he shouldn't be here. None of them should be here. They should be off having fucking normal lives with normal problems.

Instead, they get this. This fucking bullshit with Him, stuck cooped up with those of us cold-hearted and sneaky enough to last as long as we have in this goddamn housing counting down to the fucking inevitable. They're just fucking kids for christ's sake.

I remember when I turned eighteen. Been running for nearly two fucking years. I spent my eighteenth birthday huddled on a park bench in some city I don't even remember the name of. Already a chain smoker, already a caffeine addict of the highest order, already drinking enough to make me look like Spencer's goddamn apprentice. Thank fucking god only two of those stuck.

It was cold, the bad kind of cold. Could barely breathe and what I could breathe cut my throat up like fucking glass. My last cig trembled between my fingers and I just couldn't stop shaking. Some people actually stopped to ask if I was alright. I fucking wasn't, but what could I say? 'Some tall guy in a suit with tentacles want to kill me'? Hell no. I wasn't risking their fucking lives with that bullshit. Bad enough they even came up to me. That's enough sometimes

Some lady with the kindest fucking eyes and red hair pressed a five into my hand. She couldn't have known it was my birthday but it was the nicest present I could've gotten.

So, August? Enjoy your fucking birthday. We have too few anyway.

-Amanda- Recap Time

Fuckfuckfuckshitfuck. So I guess I should tell you what happened last night. What with having to rescue Steele and all that bullshit.
So we found Steele. The fuck was holed up in a library I didn't even know we fucking had. (And August don't be a fucking smartass I don't want to know what boss man gets up to in that wing) Anyway, we found the stupid fuck holed up in the library. He was screaming something I can't even begin to understand and I really don't want to understand.
Oh, and he was trying to shoot Tall Dark and Motherfucking Creepy. Let's review that sentence. He. Was. Trying. Shoot. Mister Slim. If you follow the fucked up train of a blog you know how monumentally stupid that is. For christ's sake there is one rule, and one rule only all us Runners agree on and that is don't try to fight Him. It just ends in tears. And bodies up trees.
Me and Doc looked at each other and know this is going to be a lot harder than we had bargained for. And we had bargained for a fucking lot. But jesus fucking christ we were going to have to face Him to get Steele back. And I'll admit, I was scared shitless. I don't scare easily, even before all this shit went down. But I was scared last night. Todd was gone, replaced by some Latin-spouting freak, and Sam was hearing voices and August was puking up that shit that smells like tar and smoke and something fucking dead and I was the only sane one. Let that sink in. I was the sane one, the fucking moody insane chick with a fucking crow. And I had to hold this group of sick, sick people together long enough for someone, anyone, to take them away from me.
And now I had to go face Faceless Himself. Fuck my life. Fuck all of our lives. But you don't just leave a teammate. That's not how it is. We fucking need each other and like hell was I leaving Steele there.
So I tell Doc to give me a syringe of the strongest stuff she has cuz we were not getting Steele out of there with out a fight. He was in full on rabid dog mode, just wanted to kill the bastard and get it over with. If only it was that fucking easy.
The plan was simple. Doc would stay at the door as sort of lookout, I'd go in, dose Steele and drag his sorry ass out of there. And we would just pray He would let us go. I haven't prayed that hard since I was ten and my grandmother made me go to church with stories of burning in hell. She's laughing somewhere, the crazy old bitch.
Doc wasn't lying when she said that was strong stuff, Steele went down like a ton of bricks. That was the thing I forgot to account for. I'm a 5'4 scrawny, malnourished weakling and I had to drag him out of there without help. Well, guess what? I fucking did it. Because I had to it. Luckily, Doc helped take some of the weight when I reached her. Then we just had to hightail it out of there. And that's where it all went even more fucking sideways. We were fucking lost in the east wing and I knew He was following us. It's a fucking weight around you, like an iron hand wrapped around your chest. And still we ran, or tried to run, through corridors that made impossible turns and stairs that lead to fucking nowhere. Christ, I never want to see the east wing ever fucking again. Spence can have it, can do what ever he wants with it. It makes me sick to my stomach, messes with my head. It's fucking wrong, plain and simple.
We turned a blind corner and stumbled through a door and suddenly the hand around my chest tightened so much I couldn't breath. I stumble under Steele's weight and I couldn't fucking breathe.
And my only thought was, 'we didn't get Steele out. we failed. i let them down when they needed me.'
And maybe there is a fucking god because right as the world started going gray around the edges, Spencer is just there. I don't remember him being there, I don't remember him getting there and I didn't give a shit because Spencer was fucking there.
Somehow he managed to hoist me up over his shoulder and take Steele's weight. Everything after that is a bit of a blur of dizziness and blackgraywhite. I came to in the kitchen with the others. Someone drank all my coffee, my cigs were gone, it smelled like crap from August's vomit, and I didn't care. Because we were all there and whole, as far as I could tell. And that was more than most people like us could say.

-Amanda- What The Fuck

Seriously, guys, what the fuck happened guys. It was supposed to be a routine delivery what the hell happened? Jesus fuck, guys. I go to take care of something on the East Coast and everything goes to shit. Motherfuck. Can't leave you guys alone for a fucking minute, jesus motherfucking christ.

Christ, and here I thought these fucking massive storms would make my trip the most interesting.You know how He is with fucking rain. But besides that it was really fucking quiet, for once. Hell, I only had two Proxies to speak of. Guess they were off chasing your doomed corpses. Didn't even get a glimpse of Him, though that doesn't mean a goddamn thing.

Ok, is everyone back at base right? We need to regroup and shit. And looks like I'm going to have to take charge of your sorry asses til you get over the fun Loop tripping. Have to take care of a house full of Runners while off their goddamn heads now. Motherfucking great. I need a cig. Or ten.

-Amanda- Caffeine and Nicotine A Girl's Best Friends

So, y’all have seen the rest of the team. Woop-di-fucking-doo, welcome the disfunction junction. The booze is Spenc’s, the drugs are Steele’s, and the smokes are mine. I just happen to steal the booze.

I want to do something. Getting antsy holed up where I am, Poe too. Poor bastard hasn’t been able to stretch his wings in ages. My bones are getting that ache that means something’s going to go down. Dunno what, dunno when but it’s gonna happen. Mark my words.

Christ, I’m tired. But I can’t sleep, not an option. I’m on my third cup of stale coffee. Need to brew a new pot soon. Which means I need to go steal some instant coffee. It’s funny, before this I was a fucking coffee snob, now I’ll take anything with caffeine in it. Coffee, tea, soda, energy drinks. Hell, on bad days I’ll take the blasphemy of decaf if it’s fucking hot. As long as it keeps me awake.

Should pick up a carton of cigs while I’m at it. Maybe I’ll treat myself to some nice ones. Steele and Spencer have their addictions, I have mine.

Gonna go smoke the last of this pack or something. Thank god we’re not in the woods.

-Amanda- So The Boss Started This Blog

So Spencer thought this blog thing would be a good idea. Yeah, no, I don’t think so. But I might as well use the damn thing. Quicken the end or whatever the fuck.

So, yeah, I might as well make some sort of introduction for this doomed thing. I’m Amanda, that’s all any of y’all get to call me. That means you, Steele. I’m one of the poor fuckers who got sucked into this whole delivery thing. At least it pays well. Even if I have to deal with nutjobs all day. And then there are the customers. The poor, doomed idiots.

I’ll deliver anything you want, no matter what it is. Bones, blood, bodies, cryptic as fucking hell messages, I’ll take anything. Just have to give me something to make it worthwhile. And no questions. Never any questions. Got that? Good.

dghjaldsa.aq,as;

And that’s Poe, my crow. Fucker needs to learn not walk across my damn keyboard. Found him on side of the road one day. Apparently his mother had kicked ‘im out of the nest or something so I took that ball of feathers home. May’ve been one of the stupidest decisions I’ve ever made. And I don’t regret it at all.

So, yeah, that’s me. I have to go bitch at Steele about something or other. He deserves it for all the shit he does. Fuck ‘im.